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Davey T. writes a letter to Santa

It is traditionally around this time of year that young children write to Santa Claus. This is indeed Santa's busy time, the rest of the year being somewhat slack, but he has made time in what is otherwise a very demanding schedule to share with us, the humble Loyalist people and all others willing to listen, one of his letters. Santa does not normally break the trust of those who write to him rest assured but on this occasion he has made a rare exception as the individual involved is of bad character, a young urchin named Davey T.

Dear Santa,

I have not been good, indeed I have been particularly dreadful if the truth be told. I know that you know whose been naughty and whose been nice and well I might as well admit it, I was extremely bold and never listened to a thing I was told! I was told all sorts of home-truths, but I didn't listen, why should I have to listen to the people? I am the LEADER! Anyway, I couldn't hear what the people were saying when I was way up high in my helicopter. Well you never guess what the ungrateful ruffians did? They only went and had a bigger party then I had! They had more people at their big party and of course I wasn't invited, anyway I didn't want to go, I was washing my hair that night. You have to look good, even when things look bad.

Well, if you can overlook me being really particularly abysmal could you please see your way clear to giving me the following:

1. A bigger party. (at least 30 people should turn up)

2. Make 'Jeffers' (used to be my best bud) like me again and make him just like the little Jeffers of old, or even replace him with Daniel O'Donnelly, no one will notice and he would be more loyal to me. Plus he could entertain the party. Maybe even get some new members, the older people would flock to my party.

3. A helicopter, I liked that one I had for a wee while and would love to travel to and thro in one constantly, that way avoiding contact with them ruffians who keep wanting to tell me things, what you call them again, oh aye I remember now - the general public.

4. Bring back the Women & Co. (we need women at the party) because they were ever so helpful that time I was in a pickle and didn't have enough people at my party the last time, some people said they gate crashed my party but if its ok by me it doesn't matter if their names not on the list.

5. Make Jerry, Blare and Burtey and them other ruffians do what their told. When we play musical chairs I am always the first one out, they push and shove me in all directions, and when we play pass the parcel they always deliberately get someone to stop the music so I never get to unwrap the pressie. I want to have a toy gun just like that young lad Jerry, he gets to keep his guns even when I tell him he shouldnt have any. And then, he says he has put the gun away but he just gives it to his best mate Marty who hides it behind his back and sniggers at me. ITS NOT FAIR!

6. Some scrumptious mince pies, and some new hair dye.

Now hurry up quick Santa and get a move on, I have a party to organise you know!